The Phrases given by A Father Which Rescued Us during my time as a Brand-New Father

"In my view I was simply trying to survive for a year."

Former Made In Chelsea personality Ryan Libbey expected to cope with the difficulties of fatherhood.

However the actual experience soon became "completely different" to what he'd imagined.

Severe health problems during the birth caused his partner Louise hospitalised. Abruptly he was pushed into becoming her primary caregiver in addition to looking after their infant son Leo.

"I handled each nighttime feed, every nappy change… every stroll. The role of both mum and dad," Ryan explained.

After 11 months he became exhausted. It was a chat with his own dad, on a bench in the park, that led him to understand he required support.

The direct phrases "You're not in a good place. You require assistance. In what way can I help you?" paved the way for Ryan to speak honestly, look for assistance and find a way back.

His experience is commonplace, but seldom highlighted. Although society is now more accustomed to talking about the stress on mums and about post-natal depression, far less attention is paid about the struggles dads encounter.

Asking for help is not weak to request support'

Ryan believes his difficulties are part of a wider reluctance to talk between men, who continue to internalise damaging perceptions of manhood.

Men, he says, tend to think they must be "the rock that just gets hit and stays upright time and again."

"It's not a sign of failure to ask for help. I was too slow to do that fast enough," he adds.

Mental health expert Dr Jill Domoney, a expert focusing on mental health pre and post childbirth, notes men frequently refuse to accept they're finding things difficult.

They can think they are "not a legitimate person to be asking for help" - especially in preference to a new mother and infant - but she emphasises their mental health is vitally important to the unit.

Ryan's conversation with his dad gave him the space to request a break - taking a couple of days abroad, away from the home environment, to get a fresh outlook.

He came to see he required a change to focus on his and his partner's emotional states in addition to the day-to-day duties of taking care of a newborn.

When he shared with Louise, he realised he'd failed to notice "what she needed" -physical connection and hearing her out.

'Parenting yourself

That realisation has changed how Ryan perceives fatherhood.

He's now writing Leo weekly letters about his experiences as a dad, which he aspires his son will see as he matures.

Ryan hopes these will help his son to more fully comprehend the language of emotion and understand his decisions as a father.

The notion of "reparenting" is something artist Professor Green - whose name is Stephen Manderson - has also felt keenly since becoming a dad to his son Slimane, who is now four years old.

During his childhood Stephen lacked consistent male parenting. Even with having an "amazing" bond with his dad, deep-held trauma caused his father struggled to cope and was "in and out" of his life, making difficult their bond.

Stephen says repressing feelings led him to make "bad choices" when he was younger to change how he felt, seeking comfort in alcohol and substances as an escape from the hurt.

"You turn to things that are harmful," he says. "They can briefly alter how you feel, but they will in the end cause more harm."

Strategies for Coping as a New Father

• Open up to someone - if you feel swamped, speak to a friend, your spouse or a counsellor about your state of mind. It can help to reduce the stress and make you feel less isolated.
• Remember your hobbies - keep doing the things that allowed you to feel like yourself before having a baby. Examples include playing sport, seeing friends or playing video games.
• Don't ignore the physical health - eating well, staying active and where possible, getting some sleep, all contribute in how your mental state is doing.
• Meet other parents in the same boat - hearing about their journeys, the messy ones, as well as the joys, can help to put into perspective how you're experiencing things.
• Remember that asking for help isn't failing - looking after yourself is the most effective way you can look after your loved ones.

When his father later died by suicide, Stephen naturally found it hard to accept the passing, having been out of touch with him for many years.

In his current role as a parent, Stephen's determined not to "continue the chain" with his boy and instead give the safety and emotional support he missed out on.

When his son is about to have a meltdown, for example, they do "releasing the emotion" together - managing the feelings safely.

The two men Ryan and Stephen explain they have become more balanced, healthier men due to the fact that they acknowledged their pain, changed how they express themselves, and figured out how to manage themselves for their sons.

"I'm better… processing things and dealing with things," states Stephen.

"I expressed that in a note to Leo last week," Ryan adds. "I wrote, sometimes I think my role is to guide and direct you how to behave, but in reality, it's a two-way conversation. I'm learning just as much as you are on this path."